Those Moments

There are pivotal moments in parenting that take your breath away, leaving you standing in awe and bring tears to your eyes. These are the ones you remember forever.  Cataloged tightly next to births and weddings. They are often bittersweet.  Signaling a shift.  As a child grows up to find their own way.  Every success brings them closer to an independent life and further away from my arms.

Yesterday I witnessed a shift.  I watched Natalie conquer a fear head on in a collected and logical manner and it had me in awe.  This happened to take place in a public bathroom, so not glamourous, but a feat none the less.

Since potty training Natalie has been terrified of public bathrooms.  She can be very sensitive to sounds and every door slammed, toilet flushed and automatic hand dryer was enough to send her rushing to my arms where she held on tight and wouldn't let go.  We have had many pep talks and multiple visits to public bathrooms, but never much beyond the door.  And every time it has been her standing in fear of the multitude of sounds.

Yesterday we ventured out for a day trip, not to be home until well into the afternoon.  So as the afternoon rolled around, Natalie asked to use the potty.  We had our usual pep talk, walk into the bathroom, stare at a stall and quickly exit the bathroom.  She told me she would wait until we got home and I told her we had many hours before we would be home.  That wasn't an option.  As she weighed her option of 'Use the scary bathroom' or ' Wet my pants' she made the decision that the scary bathroom would be the better choice.

She was reluctant of course and it took slow and explanatory steps to actually make it into the stall, but she did it. No tears, no whining, just forward movement. All on her own without a push from me. And she was so proud.  That is what made all the difference.  She knew she had conquered her fear.  And in the end, it wasn't as bad as she thought.

I guess I'm cataloging this long story of my daughter using the public bathroom as a reminder.  To remember how my kids face fears everyday as they navigate this new and exciting life.  There are so many new things to them everyday and they face it head on.  Yet as adults, it is hard to remember what that was like.  And like everyone there are fears that stand in our way and many we never attempt to conquer.  Sure our fears may be larger then an attempt at using a public bathroom, but to a little kid that is a completely brand new experience.  New territory that really is no different than many of our fears.


It was definitely one of those moments I think I will always remember. Amazed at her transformation from being terrified to determined to proud of her triumph. It was a moment of pride for both of us.  A moment she independently moved forward and tackled something head on. All by herself.