Their Protector

I love when my kids need me.  Their mother.  Their protector.  Outreached arms from Natalie and a little cry from Carter.  When they are in my arms, there is a calm and a sense that everything is right in this world.  I get less time cuddling with Natalie, as she has become an independent 2 year old but now Carter fills my arms.   His little body, molding to the shape of cradled arms.  He fits so perfectly, like he was always meant to be there.  He calms right down as I hold him close to my chest and slowly rock him to sleep.  This is when that undying bond is magnified.  The one that started many months ago.  My children in my arms, close to me. 

As I hold my children close, consoling them and telling them everything will be fine and that I love them, it is then I still feel the magnitude of losing another.  It is then I feel the weight of failing as the protector for one.  I couldn't hold on tight enough to protect.  A life just slipped away.  While I know there was nothing I could do, I know just how lucky I am to have two beautiful children in my arms now.  I will protect them, as their mother, for as long as possible.  While they are in my arms, needing me and the love I can offer. 

While I would go the ends of the earth for my children and protect them until I leave this world, there is only so much I can do.  While terrifying as that is, I'll take each moment, each hug, kiss and cuddle and let them fuel my soul and enrich my life.  I'll be there for consoling and snuggles.  I'll be their advocate. And always be their protector.