Second Trimester
I have officially made it into the second trimester. I am 14 weeks today and get more and more excited and thankful every day that passes. We have an ultrasound in two weeks and the fear is already creeping in. I'm really excited to see this little one since it has been almost 2 months, but the fear of 'what if something is wrong' will always be there, probably before every ultrasound.
There are so many milestones in a pregnancy and even more major feats for a mother who has already lost a baby. It is one giant sigh after seeing the baby on the ultrasound, first hearing the heartbeat, passing the 12 week mark and now the first big anatomy scan. Then it will be passing the 19 week mark, the week we found out about Oliver. Passing each milestone adds a little bit more comfort, but I don't think I will fully be relaxed until this little baby is here, safe and in my arms.
My goal right now is to make it to Christmas without having a mental breakdown. I will be almost 20 weeks, hopefully starting to feel this little one move and we will know if we are having a boy or a girl. I feel like that will be the point that I might believe we are really going to have another little one. Sadly I still can't quite bring myself to really believe there will be another little baby in May. I know the next 3 ultrasounds before Christmas will help me see the reality and I'll fall that much more in love with this one. I can't wait and yet am terrified to have my heart back on the line where I very well know it could be crushed.
Right now I'm just thankful to be 14 weeks pregnant and have a growing baby with a beating heart. I know that seems so simple to most people, but really there are so many dark days where a pregnancy resulting in a live child seems completely foreign. I know the reality of it all just slipping through my fingers and this milestone of making it into the second trimester is a huge one and one I don't take for granted.
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| 13 weeks |
You look so cute!!! All you can do is take one day at a time and one milestone at a time. You'll get here. It's so hard though. I remember that with Colin. I just wanted to know he was here and safe and healthy.
Love the belly pic :) It is so hard not to have worries. I find that taking it each week at a time helps.
Cute bump! I am right behind you (a couple of weeks) Congrats on making it to the 2nd trimester!!!
Woo hoo. Welcome to 2nd trimester! Looks like I'm just a week ahead of you. And love the bump picture, I've been taking some of my own too. And for me, the worry/fear/anxiety go hand in hand with the joy/excitement/hope. As I'm in 2nd trimsester, I'm believing more and more I will have a baby in May...and somedays Mays seems awfully far away!
Beautiful bump <3 I am so envious and humbled by this post. At 3 months out from losing my Aiden, I'm dying to become pregnant, but my husband is so not there yet. We have said we will start trying in January, but that seems like years away.
I am so happy you have a healthy little baby growing right now, it gives me hope.
Congrats ~ I don't think I mentioned it before, and if I did . . . Double congrats!
Yes, this is a hard journey, but I am hoping and wishing you joy in it minus the strain:)
your baby bump is adorable! hang in there, christmas is almost here :)
Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I know how hard making it to these milestones is! <3 <3 <3 Your baby bump is so cute!