A Change in Seasons
>> Thursday, September 9, 2010 –
hope,
love,
photography
It is still hot and humid here, but the past two days have brought storms and a feeling of fall. The air has a hint of coolness to it and longs to be breathed into my soul. I am ready for the summer to be over, a summer full of difficulty and relearning how to live my new life.
Natalie and I hung out inside reading books, curled up on the bed.
We also played outside in between the raindrops.
Picking up wet leaves.
The acorns begin to drop.
An evening after the storms.
I'm ready for a new season of cool breezes, falling leaves and snuggles on cool evenings. Watching Natalie venture through pumpkin patches, enjoying a hot latte outside at the park and long evening walks with the family. I feel like my life has crossed into new territory and I am more accepting of this life.
I often think about my 'old' life and the woman I was on the morning of May 11 before everything changed. I've said before, I often wonder if I would even recognize myself. My life has changed so much, my very being has been altered. I am a fundamentally different person and they aren't all bad changes. Yes, I have the permanent scar of losing Oliver and the pain, fear and hurt that will always be there just a little. But I can't deny that I've gained so much. The strength, feeling like I have a more definitive path and feeling like I can give more of myself. Just as Natalie has brought so much to my life, Oliver has too. While I never wanted to learn these lessons in this manner, his short life has made my life fuller and for that I'm so thankful.
I'm eager to see what each new season brings. I'm happy this season is coming to a close. It is one I will always remember and know I had to journey through to get to this place right now. It was a season full of tears and heartache, but it was also the season in which Oliver came into this world. And he will always be here, in my heart, through every season I venture through.
On another note:
http://www.mothering.com/health/charlottes-grace
I came across this stillbirth story and it is one of the most beautifully written stories I have read.
Beautiful words and images...
Andrea, you have such BEAUTIFUL pics of Natalie in this post. My goodness - that one of her with the leave up to her face - incredible! Have a nice weekend!
I'm so glad that you seem to be finding the peace that we all need to find. Oliver certainly has made a huge impact in your life, and in all of our lives.
Natalie is such a beautiful little girl.
She is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing about the changes that seem ebb and flow in our lives! Beautiful blog...I am so glad I found it.
What a beautiful post you have written here (and what a beautiful little girl you have!). I completely agree that, while grief leaves us forever changed, it is also important to move forward in hope and excitement for what else life has to bring. Peace to you today...